How to become bulimic in 10 lessons

Dinner plate with STOP sign
You couldn’t do it if you tried. But in 1989, at the age of twenty, I managed to make myself bulimic. I would consume nothing but water for seven days at a time, or eat to the point of crippling pain, begging myself to stop … yet would carry on. I’d like to take a look at how I accomplished such an incredible feat. What are the lessons here? How could you make yourself bulimic?
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Inside Natasha Holme's diaries

12th May: Mass Observation day

Mass Observation banner

Since 12th May 1937, the day of George VI’s Coronation, the Mass Observation project has been asking members of the public to submit a detailed diary entry for 12th May each year. The more everyday the details the better–as this is the fabric that history is made of.

So, what did I get up to on 12th May 2019?
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Top ten ways NOT to come out

Megaphone and STOP sign

I came out, kicking and screaming, in the 1980s and early 1990s … in some pretty poor ways. Here are my top ten favourite ways well worth avoiding …
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The first clues

Rainbow stripes and magnifying glass

Despite knowing—on some level—at a very young age that I was a lesbian, it took a silly amount of time for the pink penny to finally drop. Into my university years I was writing entry after entry in my diary about how beautiful my latest girl-crush’s eyes were … yet expressing in the very next paragraphs my bewilderment as to why I never felt excited when a boy touched me. My diary makes for a forehead-slapping read.

So, how could I know I was gay when I didn’t know? What were the mental prods? What were those early signs?
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Self-preservation is just NO FUN

Sun rise

Jamie: What do you think of yourself when you look back at what you wrote?

Natasha: I feel just slightly remorseful, as I was far more whacky, interesting, adventurous, irresponsible, self-destructive than I am today. What I gained in self-respect and self-awareness, I lost in character.
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51 Quotes about diary-writing

Diary speech bubbles with text

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As of May 2017, I have archived my original 2012 www.lesbian-crushes-and-bulimia.com website.

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I must not be obsessive

Natasha
Although I feel mentally stable, self-aware, and well balanced, I do sometimes question my addiction to recording my life, and the two or more hours every day that I devote to it. Do you feel that Anne Lister’s obsessiveness was in any way unhealthy?
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Secret Diaries Past & Present

Secret Diaries Past & Present book cover

I have just published a new book—a Q&A collaboration with Helena Whitbread, author of The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister. Anne was a wealthy lesbian diarist who lived two centuries before our time.
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Reasons NOT to keep a diary

warning sign, forbidden, prohibited, do not

What was to become a life-long obsession with diary-writing was largely spurred by the chance overhearing of this comment at school when I was seventeen. …

Thursday 9th October 1986
“Not in an unpleasant way.”
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Inside Natasha Holme's diaries