Tag Archives: lesbian

An utterly honest account of bulimia. Novels and biographies about eating disorders so often make the condition appear dramatic, exciting and glamourous. This diary does not. It tells of the repetative daily struggle, the depression, and the gruesome, unglamourous physical effects of the condition. I have never been confronted with such raw frankness when reading about this condition. This is a story that everyone needs to read, so that people understand that this condition is undignified, painful and hellish, not something glamourous or enviable. My sincere congratulations to the author for her bravery in sharing her story which could change many people’s lives. I believe that this book has the power to jolt some people out of the addictive cycle, because the reader can’t escape the gritty reality on the page. This book has the power to save lives.

I am a lesbian/bisexual myself, so the sexuality part of the diary also appealed to me (as it really resonated with the obsessive crushes I experienced when I first came out). However, if you are not gay or bi this part of the diary may not appeal to you as much. I urge readers who find the lesbian aspect of the diary less captivating to continue reading because the bulimia-related diary entries are, as I said, invaluable reading for people with bulimia whose motivation for recovery is waning.

This book really reminds you why you are ‘staying clean’ and fighting so hard for recovery.

This book could change your life. I really believe it could. Read it!

For the love of lesbian diary-writing …

As a lesbian and a devoted diarist, I was thrilled to discover in 1989 the original (1988) publication of this book, I Know My Own Heart: The Diaries of Anne Lister, 1791-1840. At a time when lesbian books were few, this was a godsend and I lapped up every word.
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Book cover of Unbearable Lightness, by Portia de RossiOK, not a diary. … This book is a memoir, however it receives an honorary mention for being an eating disorder autobiography written by a lesbian. In this gripping bestseller, celebrity actress and now wife of Ellen Degeneres, Portia de Rossi, recounts how suppressing her sexuality for fear of ruining her acting career helped foster her startlingly negative self-image which, in turn, fuelled her eating disorder.

Check out this book on Amazon.

Book cover of Helena Whitbread's No Priest But LoveHelena Whitbread’s second book, No Priest But Love, first published in 1992, is the lesser-known follow-up to the 1988 publication of I Know My Own Heart (republished in 2010 as The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister).

This portion of Anne Lister’s diaries covers the years 1824 to 1826. The book begins with Anne’s stay in Paris, where she wins the affections of a widow whose social standing and financial worth do not meet Anne’s aspirations.

Whilst continuing her affair with the love of her life, Mariana Lawton (married to Charles Lawton), Anne seeks a suitable life partner who will also allow her to climb the social ranks. She manages effortlessy to seduce a number of willing young women and writes freely in her diaries of her desires and of meeting those desires. About one sixth of Anne’s diaries–the encoded parts–cover this area of her life.

“As a document of one woman’s revolt against convention and as a celebration of love between women, this is an uplifting book.”–The Independent

  • Readers will be gripped, shocked, entertained, and informed
  • Lesbians with eating disorders will know that they are not alone
  • Readers will gain direct insight into the mentality of someone living with an eating disorder
  • Readers will become aware of some of the pressures involved in coming out as gay
  • The take-away message of this story is that letting oneself fall into a lifestyle of disordered eating and not seeking help does not pay off

This synopsis contains light spoilers.

Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia is a real-life diary portrayal of an obsessive nineteen year old lesbian, Natasha, whose internal homophobia, alongside infatuations with other women, bring her condemnation in both her gay and straight environments and drive her into a state of compulsive binge-eating and purging.

This true story is set in 1989, one year after the infamous Section 28 was introduced, according to which it was not permitted to “promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.” Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia is the first book to present a diary account of living as a lesbian with an eating disorder.

Natasha is obsessively, unrequitedly in love with her former teacher, Miss Williams (names have been changed), a love which she declares openly as a tattoo on her wrist. She meets Alex, a girl her own age, who questions her about the tattoo, revealing her own remarkably similar obsessive love for her former teacher, Miss Wilson. A romance blossoms between the two girls. Alex is slim and beautiful, Natasha is not.

Alex, who does not want to be gay, claims that she believes she is heterosexual. Natasha decides to experiment with boys.

When Alex, influenced by her mother’s homophobia, rejects Natasha, the latter, in her characteristically obsessive fashion, starts to fall into an alarmingly bulimic lifestyle in an attempt to lose weight to feel worthy of winning Alex back.

As the months of bulimia unfold, Natasha engenders disapproval in the gay scene’s hardcore lesbians and spends her time compulsively weighing herself, starving herself, and experimenting with methods of ridding her body of food.

Does Natasha succeed in feeling attractive enough for Alex? Does she succeed in winning Alex back?